Hi ... . Mom ... . Long Time No See by constantvariable on Blogster

i'm sorry i've not been posting alot lately.... or even a little... here or on the other blog.... got a lot on my mind, lately.... funny how that works, eh? lots on my mind but can't muster up the something to write about it.... work, school, life.... i got a letter in the mail with a familiar name on it.... no return adress.... took me a few minutes to remember where I knew the name from. It was my mother.... I don't remember her, and I've assumed she must be dead for a long time, now. she left when I was three, never to be seen or heard from again. Not even when my father died. i waited 2-3 days before I even opened the letter.... she was writing from a correctional facility...she's doing 2 years on drug charges... 12 step program... I thought, she must be at the step where you have to apologize to the people you've hurt because of your drug addiction.... to sum it up, she wants to meet me, if I'm interested.... to be quite honest, I don't know if I want to. I opened the letter like 2 weeks ago... maybe more... I've sort of been ignoring the subject, since then. I almost wish she hadn't written... I mean, I don't know this person... calling her my mother feels completely alien... I don't even know what she looks like... she abandoned me and my father and has played no part in my life whatsoever.... but there's this part of me... somewhere inside.... that is curious.... who is this person? Why now? Why 18 years later? (i'm 21) and there's this part of me that wants to see her, not because I want to know her, but because I want her to see that I made it without her.... i feel bad for thinking that.... I'm thinking of just writing her back... getting some questions answered.... cross the other bridges as they come... seems logical, i guess....

6 comments on Hi ... . Mom ... . Long Time No See

lunarhunk said 2 years ago
Asa, I can definitely understand what it is like to have so much on your mind that it is hard to blog. It can be overwhelming, and it idefinitely sounds like you are in one of those situations.

You have so much to be proud of! You have made a great life for yourself. You have to be the one to decide whether you want to meet with her. She may be doing it for her own healing reasons, but you have to put yourself first.
AJ
elkhound said 2 years ago
that is a tough one. I have two step kids who have not heard from their mom in years also. They no longer think of her as mom. But there may come a day then want some answers also. I will never stop them from contacting her, it is their choice. keep us posted. [HEART]
greatmartin said 2 years ago
I would go for the meeting--in the future you might regret not having done so--if it is going bad you can always walk away--go without any expectations--you don't have to like, respect or even think of this woman as 'mother' but she is part of your dna and it might help knowing some of her medical history--and who knows it might be a positive experience for you (I am the eternal optimist!)[KISS]
constantvariable said 2 years ago
thank you for the comments, everyone :) you guys are great
GTASAHOMO said 2 years ago
Yea, you could at least get alot of your questions answered. I think I'd be curious to see what she looks like. You'll do what you feel is right though Asa. [SMILE]
sphel70 said 2 years ago
Hi, Asa. My name is Steve Phelps and I´m a biology professor at the University of Florida. I´d like to use the picture you posted of Reithrodontomys raviventris in a publication, but I can´t find who originally took the picture. It´s perfectly appropriate for you to use it here (nice site) but I need to credit the photographer. I´ve seen it in a popular book, but I can´t remember which. Do you recall where you got it? If so, maybe you could drop me a note at phelps@zoo.ufl.edu. Thanks!